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These few days have been sleeping very little... Don't know how long my body can last. But oh well, it has never failed me before. Well, it did. Once or twice, but I'll live. I'll hold on. 'Tch. Holding on is only thing I can do nowadays. How ironic. I've always told myself not to hold on to anything. Guess I disappointed myself. Holding on is painful, letting go is even harder. Tell me after you've tried it. It's a new experience after all. I've realised that I'm torturing my own body. I got headache from reading all the scores from the Erhu. Seriously. I can't cram anything to my head anymore. I just want to drop down and go to sleep. But, I can't do that, can I? I don't think so. I shan't allow my body to do so. Human beings are weaklings. Are there really limits? But aren't limits just imaginery? 'Tch. Everything's becoming so troublesome. I don't even want to think anymore. My brain hurts. It hurts everywhere. I don't want to do this anymore. 'Tch. But since the day I've been thrown into this world of ours, the only thing I was good at was endurance. Endure. Let it soak all over you. Feel it. Endure. It's a never-ending cyclical process. Basically, it sucks. After doing it for some time, you'll feel really stupid. Why can't you just let the anger, frustration, fear, anxiety; emotions, out? Why let it keep on building inside you?

But for me, I just can't. Nothing to do with I want or not, but I can't.

How do you let your anger out when your anger could kill a person? How do you let your frustration out when there's no one to console you? How do you let your fears out when there's people you need to be strong for? How do you let your tears out when you've got no more tears to cry? That must've sound pathetic. It's lame. But it's true.

♥undefined. 9:35 pm