I haven't blogged in very long. This tone of my had once been a visitor, but it I had learnt to say goodbye to it very long ago. Now that it came back, I almost have a nostalgic feel. What is this? Loneliness? Anger? Self-pity? I don't really know anymore. I'm too tired to figure it out. It'll only come to a point where I'm going to drown myself.

It's a pity this feeling came back. Today's my birthday. August 25 clearing, distinctively circled on my calender. But it seemed to go past like any normal day. My mom's out. My sister's out. I'm alone at home. 'Ch. I'm being too childish again. Birthday is nothing more than a day a person grows older. Birthday just reminds you that you're going to die faster. No point in it. That's what I've been told. But still, a rebellious part of my disagrees. It should be filled with smiles. Don't you think? Well. No point in asking anyway. I was never worth anything, was I? Not worth the money spent on me, Not worth the love I have been given, Not even worth the help I got. I don't know how or why I got this idea, but I just knew.

I feel like I'm gonna disappear. I feel like I'm alone in the room. I feel like I've lost my voice. I don't know. I just feel. I can feel my temper rising, but strangely, I can't let it go. It's stuffed inside this human body of mine. I know that if it's compressed too long, I'll just burst. No one will notice anyway. I didn't need anyone anyway. My sister used to tell me lack of friends did not mean you'll die. Strange huh? I've never had someone that knew me long enough to play for me back the song of my heart.

Happy birthday Nyein,
from me.

♥undefined. 8:21 pm