Sorry guys, no pictures for today.
Wasn't at home so didn't create any looks.
=.=
Like anyone would actually like to look at my face.
Ever felt like sometimes you could just fade and disappear?
Now is one of those times I feel really ugly.
After watching Twilight, Marley and Me and Wild Child.
I just feel really useless. Maybe it has something to do my period. =.= What the hell. I wish this feeling would just disappear. I can't sleep. More like I'm forcing myself not to sleep. I still haven't finished my Physics Journal and File, can't find the motivation to. My PW proposal is still stagnant. Like a dead sea.
My mom's friend said I look fatter. Not just one person. Okay, so what, fat AND ugly. Such a good combo. Is it so wrong to feel happy with yourself once in a while? I can just never do that. Everytime I look at other people, there'll be something, somehow wrong with me. It's like, I'm designed to be ocstrasized in this world. Not that I am, but like, I will be. One day. Sooner or later. I don't fit in with people. People just seems to hate me. They don't like me at all. There's always something they are expecting more.
Self-esteem problem? I don't think so. There really is something wrong with me, why would I be fretting if there really is nothing. People are forcing themselves to say nice things to me so that this whole thing wouldn't be blown over the edge and I'll end up suiciding or something. =.= Maybe.
Or maybe if I died, nothing would really change and everything would change for the better.
My friends won't be arguing with me all the time.
My family will have less stress finding all the money it takes to bring me up.
Others. ... They won't lose out in any way.
I was a waste of space in this world. Too bad I won't be able to see how this world turns for the better after my funeral.
