Yo people!
Today, me, yunzhen, pengjie and chua celebrated esther's birthday. Though her birthday isn't until like 10th March. =.=
Sigh, everything around me is disappearing so fast. The time, the place, the people. Everything.
It feels like something just pressed "Fast Forward."
I just realised that I'm going to be 17. 1-7. That's a big number. I feel so old. And I still haven't accomplished anything that I told myself I would be when I'm 17.
Let me tell you what was on my Life's list.
1. Get a rich boyfriend.
2. Get good grades.
3. Lose weight.
None of them are checked. Sigh.
I wonder if it's possible for a person to feel this unimportant.
I wasn't there when Mr. Tay returned the physics pop quiz. I got 12/15. Sigh, I intended to give up on it anyway. I didn't even study. =.= But even though I read through Chem stuff on the day of the test, I only got 11/20. *sigh*
You'll lose a bit of happiness everytime you sigh. Someone told me that. I really wonder if it's true.
Take my word of advice. Love is really rare. Something that's impossible to catch it unless it's onto you. *looks back* Yup, I'm pretty sure it ain't following me.
I guess I'll wait for another year before Lady Luck shines on me again. Every year the time passes, I really wondered what I did with the precious time that looked me in the eye and left. Everytime I look myself in the mirror, I really wondered what happened to that girl who talked big and had huge ambitions. I guess it died with my mother. I still have that part of her in me, just appearing infront of people and shying away from me. I could never connect with her, she's too different from me. Does this mean another trip to the psychologist again? I hope not.
I'm really wondering if I'll succeed in life. What will happen to me 15 years later? Will I be sitting in an office typing nonsensical stuff on a puny little computer, or Would I be enjoying myself at some exotic place? Both possible, but too different.
I wonder if I'll get myself a nice boyfriend. Or a rich one for that matter. But seriously, I've never imagined myself with a guy. It's like, love was never meant for me at all, just for me to stand in the side lines watch it go to other people. Sad, but true. My life is pathetic. I don't even know why there's such a easy thing was never meant for me. I guess that's life. Like how mom puts it. She's always telling me my heart was too distant but too soft for anyone to comprehend. I don't really know what she meant by that but I'm willing to bet she knows what she was saying. Do I have the capacity to love people? I don't know how to.
Toodles. I've got coffee left outside the room.
